Munich

I Never Knew Their Name…

…but he taught me how things don’t always go as planned, and the world keeps turning regardless. 

I had been sick for four days. I had caught a bug on an overnight bus from Amsterdam to Munich. I spent the next four days laying in a hostel bed trying to sleep off the sickness. It was on day four when I finally emerged to watch the European Cup in the hostel lounge. It was there where I quickly learned that I was not the most miserable person in that hostel. 

That hostel in Munich was as classic as a glockenspiel. The lounge had a long bar with a big screen plastered on the back wall. Around the screen were several wooden picnic tables. My best friend and I were on one side of the table, beers in hand ready to watch the game. 

Now Cynthia, the friend by my side, loves football as much as I do. However, if she had it her way, she would watch the game in perfect silence. She likes to focus on the plays and doesn’t like when people chat. I, on the other hand, love talking during games. I think its possible to both watch the game and have a laugh at the same time. Therefore, Cynthia sat on the edge and used me as a buffer from others so she could watch the game in piece. 

It didn’t take long for the room to fill up. After all, the game was rather important and we were in the country of the current world cup champions. Our table soon filled up with a few british lads on holiday. 

I couldn’t help it. A conversation with the guy next to me soon commenced. I was curious about their holiday and he was an incredibly open person. After about a minute of chatting, he informed me that they were there for a stag party for his best friend. 

I love weddings and romance. I wanted all the details. They had planned to have a destination wedding in Spain. They had met three years ago and had fallen in love. They now lived together in London. 

And then,  as casual as can be, he took a sip of his beer and said,

“Its a shame none of it will happen. She called off the wedding last night so we brought him here to drink away the pain but he refuses to leave the room.”

Cynthia and I choked on our beers. The game was forgotten at this point. We had to know more. 

He didn’t know much, it was still fresh in the making. But he knew that she just no longer loved him. She hadn’t met anyone else. She didn’t want to move somewhere new or change her life. She just no longer loved him. 

I was distraught. The poor guy! He must be heartbroken. I looked at this stranger and asked how he and all his friends could be here casually drinking beers and watching a football match when his best friend was heartbroken. 

This is when I realized how young I am in love. How little I really know about life. He explained to me that it doesn’t matter. Life goes on. 

“He can be heartbroken all he wants. But no matter how much he cries or begs her to take him back, the moment is gone. It’s all gone. The world kept turning and he decided to stop turning with it. He’s trying to run backwards and it’s impossible to out run time. The sooner he accepts that life goes on without giving a damn about his broken heart, the sooner we can all have a good time in Munich.”

Wow. 

I never knew his name, but he sure knew about love. Young, naive, rom com loving me didn’t believe him at first. I questioned his own love life, assuming him to be a heartless cynic who doesn’t believe in rose colored hearts of those three little big words. 

I was wrong. He was in a committed relationship. He loved his girlfriend and she loved him. They lived together and someday get married. He explained how he didn’t hate love. He loved it. But he also knew that no matter how down we were, the world doesn’t care. The longer we stay down, the harder it is to get back up. We get comfortable being down. We become scarred to stand up again for the fear that we might have to stand back up again and again and again. 

But that’s what life is like. The highs and the lows are your own journey and what you make of it. If his friend needs him, he will be there tissue box and all. But until then, he was planning on enjoying the stag trip with a beer with his mates and a good football match in the background. In his mind, there was no reason to ruin a beautiful day worrying about someone else's happiness. That’s a personal responsibility. 

Now, when I am sick or heartbroken and want to curl up and be down for the count, I think of that stranger from Munich. I never knew his name and never ran into him again, but he taught me that the world keeps turing. Plans fall through. Life has twists and turns. But the sooner you accept the lows, the sooner you can join in on the highs. 

So thank you. I never learned your name, but I got a great story and some life advice out of that 90 minute conversation at a picnic table.